Of course I would have an easy journey to pregnancy, why wouldn’t I? I was young, active, and living a healthy lifestyle. When my husband and I decided we were ready to be parents, it would go smoothly and we would be successful on our first attempt – I was sure of this!
But fate had other plans.
I was 28 years old when I started my journey to motherhood. Initially, everything was going exactly as I planned. I was going to be a mom, we were thrilled to tell our immediate family, and best of all – it was right around Father’s Day. I was so proud to tell my husband that he would get to celebrate, too.
At a routine OBGYN visit, my doctor had seen “something” on the ultrasound. All the mothers reading this know that “something” is one of the scariest words you can hear when you are expecting. What is “something” and what can I do about it? How do I protect this baby that I already love and yearn for?
The easiest answer was to immediately schedule my specialist appointment, which would go perfectly fine, because why would it not?! I had become used to going to these (often stressful, often exciting) pregnancy checkups alone. During the height of the pandemic, partners were not allowed with their pregnant wives- so my husband always patiently waited in the car for the good news. I had become accustomed to jumping in the passenger seat and seeing the smile spread across his face when I’d say those three words, “Baby is good!”
After having a D&C, three months later my doctor gave us the go ahead to start trying again. We went through another loss, this time what is called a chemical pregnancy. It was now my 29th birthday. I was devastated. I worried that each time my heart would swell with the love that comes from a confirmed pregnancy, that I would only be crushed a few weeks later. Despite my anxiety, I did not want to give up - we continued to try.
Another attempt and weeks later, I took another pregnancy test…. Positive! I was so excited yet so cautious. I wanted to be a mother so badly that the fear of not becoming one consumed me. It wasn’t until 20 weeks where I was feeling less anxious and more at ease. Fast forward to this past summer, I was blessed to have my sweet, rainbow baby boy Scotty Cameron! He is my world. At just a few months old, he has so many qualities that inspire me to be the best person I can be. He has the biggest smile, which he loves to show off! His giggles are contagious, and the way he looks for me in a crowd of people gives me a sense of joy that I had never previously felt. I absolutely love being his Mommy. I am the happiest person in the entire world. It is true what they say, the love for your child is completely unconditional, and the love I have for this little boy is like no other. I am forever grateful!
Looking back, we are so blessed that we had such amazing friends and family who supported us throughout this devastating time. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and my reason is now my precious son and our family.
