For most of my life, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a mother at all.
Having an atypical relationship with my own mother and experiencing some unique childhood challenges made me question the idea of motherhood…it seemed terrifying. But deep down, I had always envisioned having a son and knew it was something I wanted for myself.
At the time I decided to go for it, I was also completing my Masters of Business at NYU and interviewing with some big companies, from L’Oreal to Estee Lauder. To an outsider, it would have been the absolute worst time to get pregnant - but I was convinced that if I got pregnant by October, that I wouldn’t be “showing” and could start an intense new marketing job by the following Spring. I would worry about having the baby after I secured the job - which in hindsight makes no sense, like so many leap of faith decisions.
My husband and I got pregnant right away - probably the only thing that has ever been easy for me. I was thrilled and had a great pregnancy.
Severe postpartum depression followed, but so did some incredible changes within me. An emotional epiphany about my new identity as a mother - we are not our parents, we are who we decide to be - and the unexpected lifting of some chronic physical health issues - ultimately made me a deeply happier and healthier person.
Mothers around the world say they have an indelible bond with their children. As it turns out, that is literally true. During pregnancy, cells migrate from the baby to the mother, where they remain for decades and have the power to heal the mother from within.
I’m forever grateful to have experienced this “Path to Parenthood” however challenging it may have been.
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